Treadmill

Do you ever feel like you’re on a treadmill set just a little too fast?

Do you feel like your days are spoken for by endless tasks, roles in family and work, too many expectations, and the pressure to “keep up” in a society that never seems to slow down?

If so, you’re not alone. It’s a daunting situation we all face.

If only there were an emergency shut-off button in life, like on treadmills.

I have something even better than the emergency shut-off button to share with you. I have the solution to keep you from feeling like you need to reach for that button in the first place.

Working with hundreds of women over the years, I’ve noticed they think they don’t have “enough time,” but usually, they are trying to plan too much in their time that’s impossible to complete in the hours they have!

They are trying to stuff a size ten “schedule” into a size two space.

To help you fit everything in with the time you have, you MUST KNOW THE DIFFERENCE between your S.O.F.T and T.R.U.E priorities.

When you make something a priority for S.O.F.T. reasons, you are stuffing the “wrong things” into the limited time you have.

S.O.F.T. priorities are based from

  • SHOULDS – thinking you should do certain things because that is what “good” women, mothers, and entrepreneurs “should” do)
  • OTHER’S PERCEPTIONS – you do things you don’t want to do because you want to control how others think about you). You say yes so they WILL think “really amazing things” about you. Or, you don’t want them to believe you are incapable so you say yes… stuffing extra things into your already full schedule.
  • FEARS – adding things to your schedule because you’re afraid of what could happen in the future if you don’t do something. If you don’t work out you’ll get a terrible disease. If you say no, people won’t invite you again. Fear that if you slow down or don’t work 24/7, things will fall apart.
  • THEY OR THEM – doing things so you don’t let “them” down or because “they” will be upset if you say no.
If you’re adding tasks to your to-do list for S.O.F.T reasons, you will ALWAYS be over scheduled and trying to stuff too much into a tiny window.

If You Feel Stuck, Ask Yourself This Question

What do you do when you feel stuck or confused?

I know what I do, and it’s often nothing!
  • I stop
  • give up
  • worry
  • doubt
  • eat, watch TV, scroll

all things that lead to zero movement AND STILL BEING STUCK!

Here’s what helps me feel less stuck!

The next time you feel stuck, not sure what to do, ask yourself this one question instead of trying to figure out the big picture to get unstuck.

⁠“What is one thing I can do today that will keep me moving in A direction?”⁠

Answer the question and commit to doing that one thing!

Our direction might need to change from time to time, but if we aren’t taking action, if we aren’t moving, we can’t be guided in our next step.

It’s hard to move a docked shipped!

Just keep moving for more guidance!

This one simple thing will help you stop feeling aimless and confused!

These feelings can arise from external circumstances, but they hit harder when we let those external circumstances make us feel directionless in our current life, daily actions, decisions, and business.

I see you, and I totally understand! Even straightforward, simple daily tasks and decisions can seem like monumental challenges when we feel this way.

I’ve worked myself and my clients through this doubt, uncertainty, and confusion by doing this one simple thing.

SET A GOAL!

– Stick with me! –

Big or small, just knowing a goal is there provides clarity, hope, and direction…

and you want to know why?

Every time we take action, even a tiny one, toward our goal, our brain rewards us by releasing dopamine – nature’s way of saying, “Well done! You did it! Keep going!”

When our brain releases that dopamine, it’s hard to feel confused, aimless, and full of doubt.

DOPAMINE IS SERIOUSLY SO COOL!

It’s our very own motivational speaker cheering us on and offering a feel-good boost every time we progress. It’s the reason why every check on a checklist feels so satisfying and why reaching milestones, no matter how small, makes our hearts swell with pride.

As you think about setting just one goal to support you in finding your aim, consider taking these simple steps.

  • Reflect: What is one thing you could do that will help set you up in the right direction? You might not know what that direction is fully (’tis life), but there’s always something you can do to take action towards finding out.

    For example: Wanting a new job/passion/hobby, but wondering what in? Consider setting a goal to apply for x amount of jobs weekly or try X new hobbies/crafts, and as you take that action, you will understand what options are out there that you DON’T want and what’s out there that you might enjoy.
  • Write down your goal and place it somewhere you can easily access it. Sticky note, reminders app, lock screen, or set an alarm on your phone. It doesn’t matter how, but find a simple way to remind yourself of the goals you’re going after.
  • Decide what actions you will do daily/weekly to make progress toward your dopamine-producing goal, and then set a time (commit) to take those actions daily. If you can’t say at 8 am every day I will then say before I go to bed, I will have… or before the children come home from school I will…. or after I brush my teeth I will X (state the action).

Celebrate the little achievements along the way. Check off the boxes, tell a friend (tell me I want to know), text your kids, give yourself a wink in the mirror, whatever it is, when you complete the step, even a simple one, mentally check it off and ENJOY WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO INCREASE THAT DOPAMINE!

Purrspective For You

I’ve recently discovered a new and prestigious role in life as a grandCAT babysitter.

It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it!
⁠⁠
My daughter and her husband have been out of town for the past five nights, and it’s been entertaining watching my adorable grandcat Mo…
I call him Moses or Mo bro for short! lol

This cat has been enjoying experiences that my own cat and even my own children didn’t experience, like daily treats, head rubs, and sleeping in my bedroom at night.

This experience has got me looking forward to grandparenting!

But then I thought,

“why is it that we look forward to grandparenting and (sometimes) don’t look forward to parenting with that same kind of hope, excitement, and joy?”
I think my brain found the solution!

As a grandparent, we think we’ll be able to let the “little things go” and focus on the “most important things!”

What if we can let the “little things go” and focus on the “most important things RIGHT NOW?”

We can, and here’s how!

By knowing THE ACTION STEPS of your priorities!

It’s easy to spout off priorities such as:

  • My kids, parenting
  • Business/work
  • Spirituality
  • Health
  • Relationships

BUT… that means very little if you don’t know THE WHY you’re making that thing a priority and the ACTION STEPS you will take each day to support that priority.

  • If you want to make it a priority to be an available parent, you must DEFINE the ACTIONS of an available parent.
  • If you want to make it a priority to be a parent who connects with her children, you must DEFINE YOUR ACTIONS of what it means to be an available parent (for you).
  • If you want to be a successful business owner in X amount of hours a week, you must DEFINE the ACTIONS FOR YOU of what you will do daily to become that successful business owner.

Does this make sense? If so, keep tracking!

The next step is to SCHEDULE THE ACTIONS STEPS in your day that support those priorities.

When you DEFINE THE ACTIONS, you discover

  • What to schedule
  • What to say yes to
  • What to say no to
  • Motivation and insight into precisely what you’re going to do
  • That there is no “so small stuff.”
It’s either a YES, it supports my priority (which is big) or it’s a NO, it doesn’t support a priority (and that NO is HUGE too)!

The next time you notice yourself looking forward to a future event like grandparenting, “more” time, or “more” business success, follow these steps to begin enjoying life right now!

Ready to start enjoying life RIGHT NOW?

Let’s define your priorities together!

Focus on the Solution to Solve Your Problems!

When we focus on the problems, we often create EVEN MORE PROBLEMS and WASTE TIME!!

The next time you face a problem, notice how it’s making you feel.

DO YOU FEEL

☠️ Defeated

😡 Angry

😠 Frustrated

😱 Upset

🥹 Hopeless

THEN, STOP AND ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION.

What’s one thing I can do right now to help me feel less (state how you’re feeling)?

Now, go do that one thing.

Focusing on the solution will help you solve the problem quicker than focusing on the problem!

Four Ways to Own Your Goals Like A Boss!

As a special education teacher, I learned some
goal-setting secrets that will improve your results instantly!

NUMBER ONE: Make your goals super specific!

None of that vague stuff like create more post, get a new client, or become more organized.

In the classroom, I never said,
“The child will learn to count change.”

In special education, we are specific! A written goal sounds like this.
“When given pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters, the student will count change up to one dollar with 100% accuracy!”

NUMBER TWO: Determine your mastery criteria.

Humans make mistakes, so 100% mastery is only sometimes going to happen.

Mastery goal criteria sounds like this.
“With 90% accuracy in three out of four attempts, the child will be able to X.”

For reading, I wrote things like,
“The child will, when given 2nd-grade text, read with 80% accuracy in 4 out of 5 attempts.

Remember you are human!

NUMBER THREE: Time frames!

Set the dates when you’ll reach that goal!
“Between now and September 30, 2023, I’ll create and post four IG posts each week, with 90% accuracy!”

But here’s the kicker, the time frame is your cheerleader, not the party crasher!
If you don’t reach it in time, don’t give up, just keep at it!
If you keep trying, you’ll eventually get there.

I’m not telling you this to make goal setting feel more complicated.

Being precise is the fastest way to reach your goals, boost your confidence, and keep you motivated on what it really is you want to accomplish!

Check your goals… if you even remember them!

This reminds me, I’ve got a NUMBER FOUR.

Write your goals down and look
at them often.
Each week when I was lesson planning for my students, I pulled out their goals to make sure what I planned was focused on their goals.

Did you look at your goals this week before planning out your actions?

Specific, vauge doesn’t make you fail less, it makes you fail ahead of time.
Mastery (decide ahead of time how many times, how often, and with what accuracy you will do each goal.
Time frames, they’re your buddies, not your enemies!
Write and review, if they aren’t reviewed often, most people forget about them.

Now go out there, create, and own your goals like a boss!

You got this!

In 4 Years of Competitive Training, I Didn’t Hear This Once!

I grew up playing various sports, volleyball, and softball being my favorite.

When I entered high school, I made a name for myself at third base because I had a strong arm that could rocket the ball accurately to first, and I thrived on fast, quick, short hops and grounders that often seemed to appear in my glove magically.

It was so fun!

Every day I went to practice I heard, “Porter, get on third.”

You know what I NEVER HEARD?

I never heard, “Porter, go out to center field and take some pop flies.”
WHY?

Because my specific skills made me succeed as a third baseman.

I didn’t need to be great (or even good) at any other position to succeed as a softball player and receive a college scholarship.

I just need to be good at doing the things I was good at. The things third-base women needed to be good at.

The colleges didn’t ask if I could catch a pop fly (I’m terrified of them to be honest). I’d rather have a ball come flying towards me at warp speed than wait, and wait for a pop fly.

And they didn’t ask because it didn’t matter!

They needed someone who could accurately scoop up grounders, short hops, and bunts and get the person running to first out!

Because my stories always relate to business and motherhood, here’s the “catch!” (See what I did there!)

Decide what skills you’re great at, what skills you enjoy doing, what skills sound fun to learn, and DO MORE OF THOSE!

FOCUS ON GETTING REALLY GOOD AT THOSE SKILLS!

I’m not crafty, and I don’t really enjoy them, so my kids didn’t craft (with me). I did, HOWEVER, give them opportunities to hone their crafy skills through other friends, and family members, I put them in classes, etc., and now my 20-year-old has a VERY successful wedding cake business.

I never said, Porter, well, I was Payne by then, I never said “Payne get out your crafts and work on them till you like them more, till you’re better at them.

So the next time you think,
“I ought to be better at (fill in the blank).”
I should spend more time on this “weakness” or “thing that I don’t like doing”….
Everyone is so much better at X than I am”

Remember, in business and motherhood, you have strengths, talents, and things you enjoy.
Practice those things so that you can be the best darn version of YOU!

Let the other entrepreneurs (and moms) do their thing, you do yours, and together you will impact the world with greater success by focusing on your strengths!

Needs More of This

I just got off a coaching call with a client who is decently happy in her business right now.

BUT

The one thing holding her back from being mostly happy is the one thing that her business needs more of.

Her business needs more of HER!

It needs less of what “they say” you’re “supposed to do.”

It needs less of her judging what she is or isn’t doing.

It needs less scheduling of the things she HATES to do!

It needs more of her showing up in her strengths and doing more of what she loves so that she’s loving the way she’s showing up to help others!

If you’re not loving your business (or motherhood) right now, ask yourself these questions:

  • What are you doing in your business/motherhood that you don’t love but think you MUST DO to have a successful business/motherhood?
  • What is working for you right now in your business/motherhood? How can you do more of those things?
  • What are things that aren’t working in your business/motherhood? Why are you still doing them?
  • What are things you want to stop doing? Why aren’t you willing/brave enough to stop doing them?

If you’re not loving the results you’re getting, stop and ask yourself if your business (and motherhood) are getting the FULL, REAL YOU!

The you that creates results in ways that use her strengths, talents, wants, and in a way that she loves!

If not, stop and ask how more of YOU can show up in your business!

Organization is Not A Talent

When I was a mom with three darlings under four, I was having a conversation with a group of church women about talents.

I hated this type of conversation because I believed that I didn’t have any talents.

Then, I thought talents were things that you could display on a stage or in a gallery. They involved papers with grades and high scores, musical abilities, art, sewing, or were creative in nature somehow.

The women I was talking with were putting together a talent show, and I was required to participate.

I told them I had zero talents.

They probed with ideas they thought I should be able to do.

I timidly snapped back with a racing heart and said I wasn’t talented if it didn’t involve a ball or organization.

One gal, laughed boisterously and said,

“BEING ORGANIZED IS NOT A TALENT!”

So, for the next umpteen years, I continued to say I had zero “talents” even though I KNEW I was talented.

Fast forward to 2018

When I was contemplating what area to coach women in, organization, time management, and productivity came up repeatedly.

BUT I SQUASHED IT!

When I was working full-time while coaching part-time and serving as the president of my church’s women’s organization, many entrepreneurs came to me for coaching because they wanted to know how I was organizing my time and schedule to excel in all these areas.

And even then, I wasn’t willing to admit that my organization was a talent.

Now, wiser women, (sometimes) I’ve dedicated my coaching practice to using my talents to help you be organized and confident enough to USE YOUR TALENTS!

If you’re reading this, I know that you’re talented!

I know you have something spectacular to teach and share with this world.

If I can use my talents to help you have enough time and an organized schedule so that you can put your talents out there, then together, we can influence those around us and create a more significant impact in this world.

  • If you don’t think you have enough time
  • If you don’t think you know enough
  • If you don’t think you’re organized enough
  • If you believe you are too busy already

I’ve got you!

I can’t do what you CAN DO, not even close!

BUT I can help you have the time and organization to do what you were put on this earth to do!

Watch the 9-second video clip, that changed everything for me about why being organized is vital… (and a talent)!!

The Sugar Experience: Priorities

I just wrapped up my 35 Hard FOR YOU challenge last week and I learned a lot! I know the 65 participants did too!

Here’s what I told the 35 Hard FOR YOU group:

  • If you wanted to start but didn’t or thought you’d be way more successful than you were (this goes for your business too)
  • If you noticed that you’re unsure why you set the goals you did, didn’t really like your goals, or make progress towards them (this applies to your business and personal goals)
  • If you wanted to complete the goals/challenge but didn’t feel like you had enough time (does that sound familiar)

DOING PRIORITY WORK SOLVES THESE ISSUES! Because I KNOW PRIORITY WORK IS SO VALUABLE

I’ve got an offer for you that doesn’t happen every day!

I shared this offer with my 35 Hard FOR YOU group first and it was so well received I knew I had to share it with my email list too!!

Here are the details!

FOUR INTENSIVE PRIORITY WORK coaching sessions where we dive into what you WANT (not what you think you “should” want) but what you actually want and WHY (those are the most significant pieces) to have enough time and proper mindset to create the results you want!

I have developed a program that makes your WHY impeccably evident, full of truth, firm, and unwavering so that you stay committed to EVERY role/goal you want to excel.

THIS PRIORITY INTENSIVE IS

  • FOUR, 50-minute sessions where we dive DEEP into your priorities

  • 24/7 access to me for that time through Voxer or Marco Polo

  • Your sessions will be working sessions, (there are worksheets we cover together). During your session, I will ask lots of questions, you will discover new answers, there will be teaching and instruction, and together we’ll uncover your deepest-seeded values inside your priorities.

DURING OUR TIME TOGETHER, YOU WILL GET

  • A clear understanding of what’s truly important to you and why

  • Find your purpose and understand your wants

  • The exact actions steps (for you) to take so that you can be more successful in the areas of life that you value (business, motherhood, goals, home, life balance, etc)

  • Your time back, the time you were wasting “doing all the things” that you thought you had to do because you weren’t clear on your priorities.