Purrspective For You

I’ve recently discovered a new and prestigious role in life as a grandCAT babysitter.

It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it!
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My daughter and her husband have been out of town for the past five nights, and it’s been entertaining watching my adorable grandcat Mo…
I call him Moses or Mo bro for short! lol

This cat has been enjoying experiences that my own cat and even my own children didn’t experience, like daily treats, head rubs, and sleeping in my bedroom at night.

This experience has got me looking forward to grandparenting!

But then I thought,

“why is it that we look forward to grandparenting and (sometimes) don’t look forward to parenting with that same kind of hope, excitement, and joy?”
I think my brain found the solution!

As a grandparent, we think we’ll be able to let the “little things go” and focus on the “most important things!”

What if we can let the “little things go” and focus on the “most important things RIGHT NOW?”

We can, and here’s how!

By knowing THE ACTION STEPS of your priorities!

It’s easy to spout off priorities such as:

  • My kids, parenting
  • Business/work
  • Spirituality
  • Health
  • Relationships

BUT… that means very little if you don’t know THE WHY you’re making that thing a priority and the ACTION STEPS you will take each day to support that priority.

  • If you want to make it a priority to be an available parent, you must DEFINE the ACTIONS of an available parent.
  • If you want to make it a priority to be a parent who connects with her children, you must DEFINE YOUR ACTIONS of what it means to be an available parent (for you).
  • If you want to be a successful business owner in X amount of hours a week, you must DEFINE the ACTIONS FOR YOU of what you will do daily to become that successful business owner.

Does this make sense? If so, keep tracking!

The next step is to SCHEDULE THE ACTIONS STEPS in your day that support those priorities.

When you DEFINE THE ACTIONS, you discover

  • What to schedule
  • What to say yes to
  • What to say no to
  • Motivation and insight into precisely what you’re going to do
  • That there is no “so small stuff.”
It’s either a YES, it supports my priority (which is big) or it’s a NO, it doesn’t support a priority (and that NO is HUGE too)!

The next time you notice yourself looking forward to a future event like grandparenting, “more” time, or “more” business success, follow these steps to begin enjoying life right now!

Ready to start enjoying life RIGHT NOW?

Let’s define your priorities together!

In 4 Years of Competitive Training, I Didn’t Hear This Once!

I grew up playing various sports, volleyball, and softball being my favorite.

When I entered high school, I made a name for myself at third base because I had a strong arm that could rocket the ball accurately to first, and I thrived on fast, quick, short hops and grounders that often seemed to appear in my glove magically.

It was so fun!

Every day I went to practice I heard, “Porter, get on third.”

You know what I NEVER HEARD?

I never heard, “Porter, go out to center field and take some pop flies.”
WHY?

Because my specific skills made me succeed as a third baseman.

I didn’t need to be great (or even good) at any other position to succeed as a softball player and receive a college scholarship.

I just need to be good at doing the things I was good at. The things third-base women needed to be good at.

The colleges didn’t ask if I could catch a pop fly (I’m terrified of them to be honest). I’d rather have a ball come flying towards me at warp speed than wait, and wait for a pop fly.

And they didn’t ask because it didn’t matter!

They needed someone who could accurately scoop up grounders, short hops, and bunts and get the person running to first out!

Because my stories always relate to business and motherhood, here’s the “catch!” (See what I did there!)

Decide what skills you’re great at, what skills you enjoy doing, what skills sound fun to learn, and DO MORE OF THOSE!

FOCUS ON GETTING REALLY GOOD AT THOSE SKILLS!

I’m not crafty, and I don’t really enjoy them, so my kids didn’t craft (with me). I did, HOWEVER, give them opportunities to hone their crafy skills through other friends, and family members, I put them in classes, etc., and now my 20-year-old has a VERY successful wedding cake business.

I never said, Porter, well, I was Payne by then, I never said “Payne get out your crafts and work on them till you like them more, till you’re better at them.

So the next time you think,
“I ought to be better at (fill in the blank).”
I should spend more time on this “weakness” or “thing that I don’t like doing”….
Everyone is so much better at X than I am”

Remember, in business and motherhood, you have strengths, talents, and things you enjoy.
Practice those things so that you can be the best darn version of YOU!

Let the other entrepreneurs (and moms) do their thing, you do yours, and together you will impact the world with greater success by focusing on your strengths!

The Worst Thing That’s Ever Happened

Have you ever known a school teacher to quit mid-school year?

Six years ago, I was that teacher!

We are natural storytellers, and we often use that gift to our detriment.

I told myself the worst of stories about quitting.

I’m done for in the state of Utah.

I’m never going to get another job.

No one will ever trust me again.

To make it worse, I was supposed to begin working at the neighboring school district the next year. But since I quit, I just knew I ruined that opportunity.

The day after I quit, I got a call from the same district. They’re asking me if I’m available for an interview for a work-from-home teaching position.

Quitting mid-year freed me up for one of the most significant opportunities of my career!

During that job work-from-home position, I developed many of the skills and confidence I use now in my coaching.

Because that position had flexibility, it provided me the time to certify in life and business coaching.

Because of quitting, I am here, helping other women take chances, make changes, build confidence, and create a business and motherhood they love.

“The more we practice looking in the rearview mirror and finding gratitude for the hard times we’ve experienced; the more we start to change our programming.”

Learning from the hard times is when the intensity of our fears in the moment of difficulty, will diminish!

That “worst thing that’s ever happened to you,” what are you enjoying now because you went through that experience?

The next time you tell yourself the stories of “this is the worst thing ever”, zoom out a minute and consider that you could be wrong.

6 Lessons I Learned From Dressing Up

Over the years I’ve learned many incredible lessons from dressing up.

Halloween, the season of dressing up, made it seem appropriate to share these lessons with you now!

My children are older and past the age of dressing up and trick-or-treating. I don’t know yet if I miss it! I kinda think that I don’t!

However, they aren’t past the age of throwing a party.

I will be hosting the High School Crowd on Friday and the Jr high goblins on Saturday. Lots of pizza, treats, games, messes, laughing, and scary movies will be happening!

Does anyone want to come over and help!?

Lesson #1: Don’t Let Excuses Hold You Back

We had just moved from West Virginia to Utah.  

This picture was taken on my girls’ second day of school.  The first day was the Friday before, and they went to school with wet hair because our power went out.

It’s their second day of school in this new state, and it’s spirit week. 

  • They didn’t let the excuse of being new hold them back. 
  • They didn’t let the excuse of “people won’t know what we look like” hold them back. 
  • They didn’t let the excuse of “what if no one else dresses up” stop them.
  • They didn’t let the excuse that we didn’t have lots of time to prepare hold them back or the fact that the Costume box was buried underneath a slew of other boxes in the far corner of the storage unit convince them not to participate. 

There will always be an “excuse” that we can hold on to keep us from doing what we desire to do. 

What excuses are you holding on to that’s keeping you from going after your desires? 

Lesson #2: It’s never too late to get started!  

Record snowfall and very low temps the day before Halloween canceled trick-or-treating this specific year.  It wasn’t until November 4th that our state finally gave the OK to allow children to head out and collect all the candy. 

We could have decided to bail because Halloween wasn’t held on the day that we expected…BUT we would have missed so much!  

How many times have you said, it’s too late to __?

  • Start a business
  • Head back to school
  • Parent in a different way
  • Try something new in your business
  • Switch over your email provider
  • Change your niche
  • Start hugging your teen more
  • Create a business schedule that works

It’s never too late to get started!   

If it’s a desire in your motherhood, in your business, or your personal goals, don’t let the expectations that it “should” happen by a specific time or that it’s “too late”,  keep you from going after what you want.   

Lesson #3: Be your own judge, there isn’t a right or wrong way!

Who really knows what qualifies as an “ugly sweater” anyway?

We appoint a judge for each ugly sweater party, and we allow them to crown the winner. 

There are no other rules than their opinion.  

Guess what?

That’s the same principle that I encourage you to apply to your motherhood and business as well!

You get to be the judge of what’s working and what’s “ugly” for YOU in both YOUR motherhood and business. 

Appoint yourself to be your own judge!

You’re the only one qualified to decide if what you’re doing is working and getting you the desired results you want in all your life roles. 

No one has the same results for their business and motherhood, so it WILL LOOK DIFFERENTLY for everyone!  

If you’re the judge, on a scale of 1-10, how “ugly” is your business and or motherhood currently? 

Lesson #4: Because you “want to” is a good enough reason!

When my kids were little, they didn’t need a reason to dress up or to create something incredible.  They got out the consume box whenever they wanted. They didn’t wait for a “reason” such as Halloween or Spirit Week. 

On this snow day, they created an adorable play of an old couple that was reminiscing about their wedding day. 

The grandpa asked the grandma, “Why did you marry me?’ Replied, “Because I wanted to”

Because you want to is a good enough reason to go after something you desire. 

Finding the why, it’s all the rage and the thing business coaches hone in on a lot! I agree, the WHY is essential!

However, I also think because you want to is a significant enough reason as long as it motivates you to get the result you desire! 

Lesson #5: Don’t be afraid to speak up!

If it’s a desire or a passion, don’t be afraid to speak up and share it with others.  

That desire was put inside of you for your reason. 

Bonus lesson… keep it simple. 

This costume, Tape Face, was a massive hit with my students. The best part, it took about 10 minutes to create, and I didn’t have to buy a single thing.

We often complicate our motherhood and business, making it more challenging than it has to be. 

The next time you’re trying to solve a problem, ask yourself, “how can I make it simple?”

Lesson #6: Be authentic!

When most 9-year-olds were dreaming of dressing up as princesses, the latest fashion doll, or a bride, my cute 9-year-old wanted to be a police officer. 

She didn’t care what others were doing or what was “typical” of girls her age.  

She did what made her happy!

My Queen of Hearts was cast in the local play during this time.  

She was cast so perfectly!!  

As she as on that stage, being the VERY BEST sarcastic and demanding Queen of Hearts I had ever seen, I whispered to my husband,
“they nailed this casting role; it’s like she’s not even acting!” 

She was confident enough in herself to give this role all her sass!! And she had a lot!  

Be you, even if it’s not “typical” business practice or what “all the other moms” are doing. 

Be confident in your role as the CEO of both your motherhood and business.  

We are much happier when we are true to us and our desires, not everyone else’s.