A Page From My Journal

My husband has now been out of work for an entire year.

This unexpected situation has prompted me to reflect deeply, asking myself,

“What am I learning from this past year while Dave has been without a job?”

The insights gained have been profound and transformative, and I feel compelled to share a few of them with you.

POWER OF PERSPECTIVE:

Even when the day-to-day feels like it’s “not working,” the bigger picture shows that it IS WORKING! Zooming out and noticing the larger picture has been a pleasant surprise for me. Making me see things working even better than I could have imagined.

CLARITY IN DESIRES:

Defining what you want is crucial to recognizing it when you get it. (And in many cases, realizing that what we seek, we already possess)

HOPE vs. FEAR:

The unexpected can be scary. I can believe that it’s going to be horrible, awful, and devastating. Or I can believe that it will work out for the greater good. Neither is true (yet), so the latter opens doors and helps me focus on hope and creating trust.

UNTAPPED POTENTIAL:

This period has been an eye-opener for me, to the myriad of talents and skills we all possess, waiting to be explored and utilized. This has been a time to uncover more skills, talents, and desires. AND just because you can do something (and be good at it) doesn’t mean it’s your path.

IMPACT BEYOND BUSINESS:

I learned I could significantly impact my family financially, but I want my most significant influence and impact to be of an understanding, supportive, available, loving mother and wife. This has adjusted how I run my business and think about money.

DIVINE ENCOUNTERS:

God puts people in our path, even if it’s just for a very short time. We are taught, guided, and helped in many ways with each experience.

TRUSTING THE UNKNOWN:

It’s okay not to know the how or what’s next. As a planner at heart, accepting uncertainty and placing my trust in God has been a challenging yet rewarding journey.

EMBRACE:

The Lord is in charge! After saying my prayers and listing my asks, I’ve learned to end with “or something better”. This allows God to bless me with what I truly need.

These insights have impacted me, and I hope they offer comfort, inspiration, and strength where you may need it right now.

As strong women, entrepreneurs, mothers, partners, and daughters, we are resilient women capable of adapting and thriving despite adversity.

Having A Hard Time Staying Motivated

When I taught special education, the IEP team would come up with a set of criteria to consider the goal mastered.

That criteria usually sounded like this.

“Between now and July 30th, Ceri will, when given change of pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters be able to count the change correctly up to one dollar with 90% accuracy in three out of four attempts.”

If you’re having a hard time staying motivated toward a goal, there’s a good chance I know what you’re NOT DOING!

Keep reading, this is IMPORTANT!!

Let’s break down what I’ve learned about goal setting from my time as a special education teacher to understand what you’re NOT DOING!
  • Make the criteria very specific. I didn’t just say count change. I said, “When given a change of pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters… count the change correctly up to one dollar.” Sometimes the goal would be set to count only pennies and nickels and up to 50 cents. Even the goal of learning to count change needs to be specific to know what has been mastered and when.
  • Determine ahead of time what mastery will be. Because we are human, there are going to be mistakes, That’s why I wrote goals that said, “with 90% accuracy in three out of four attempts.” With money, I often set the criteria for 100% accuracy in 3 out of 4 attempts, but things like answering reading comprehension questions might have been 80% accuracy in 4 out of 4 attempts. This means the criteria for mastering reading comprehension at a specific grade level is consistently scoring 80% over time (4 out of 4 attempts).
  • Set the time frame for what you will learn (do) and when you will learn (do) it. “Between now and July 30th” Ceri will…”

And here’s the TRICK to the time frame.

Let the time frame be your guide, be your motivator, something to help you know if you’re making progress, not the final word or deflator.

If a child had not mastered the goal by the time set, we didn’t give up on or abandon the goal. We kept working on it until it was mastered. If a child had not mastered the goal in a certain time frame, progress was still made. The child had learned things to help them, and if they keep working at it, eventually they become the master.

Let the time frame keep you focused, but stay focused on the PROGRESS, not the time frame!

I don’t teach you this to make goal-setting feel EVEN MORE complicated.

I tell you this to help you feel more CONFIDENT and motivated in your goals.

It’s so helpful to know exactly what you need to do and how often, in what amount of time, and with what accuracy to master a goal.

We’d master and stay motivated to many more goals if we took the time to make them very specific and create room for being human.

What if your goals sounded more like this?

Between now and March 30, 2024, I will post 3 out of 7 days on Instagram with 90% accuracy.

That means you shoot to post 3 times each week and over the time set (between now and March 30,) you have 10% wiggle room for your humanness.

Whatever your goals sound like, take a look at them and ask…

Is the criteria of what you will do very specific? Not just close “more” consults or post “more” on social media.

Have you determined what you will consider mastery? 100%, 80% 3 out of 4 times… it’s up to you, but know ahead of time what it will be.

Have you set a time frame for when you will reach this goal and allow that time frame to help you stay on track towards your learning/progress, rather than defeat you?

A Page From My Journal

“The first week of 2023 started with my husband losing his job, and it ended with him still not finding one despite diligent efforts. 

2023 challenged so many thoughts, assumptions, and expectations I had in the past. Ideas and actions I assumed “should” be true were no longer.

2023 felt challenging, complex, confusing, and stifling.  

… The words stand down, halt, pause, surrender… kept creeping into my “word of the year” thoughts.

After a year such as 2023, feeling stunted and stagnant, I wanted a word for 2024 that evoked positive emotion inside me. I wanted to honor the “standstill” I was receiving but capture it in a word that stirred my soul. A word that would allow me to look forward to 2024.  

I began pondering and praying, and it softly came this morning.

Embrace
  • Embrace God’s timing and His plan
  • Embrace growth and opportunities as they find me
  • Embrace happiness and miracles
  • Embrace boundaries and desires
  • Embrace what is
  • Embrace change
  • Embrace myself

Embrace feels like something I am eager to do this year.”

… “I didn’t set a business goal this year, which surprises me.”

I am excited to embrace the change and 

Set the GOAL to:

“Take care of myself and others in my sphere of influence so that collectively, we can abundantly live a balanced life and leave the impact we were created for.”

With that GOAL as my focus, my priorities (spirituality, relationships, health, and business) will grow precisely in the way that is needed this year, and I am ready to embrace it.

Goal Setting Questions

As we dive into the new year, many of the ambitious women I work with are thinking about setting and achieving new goals!

What I’ve noticed working with women entrepreneurs is that it’s very easy to complicate the process with really, good intentions.

Elaborate plans, several action steps, and detailed strategies don’t often empower us as we hope but rather leave us overwhelmed and, ultimately, farther from our goal.

Let’s simplify 2024!

Instead of getting bogged down with an intricate plan that becomes more daunting than the goal itself, let’s take a step back.

ONE: Set your goal – be clear and concise, and know the result you will create when you achieve that goal.

TWO: Uncomplicate your goal-setting process by answering just two transformative questions:

1. What is one simple thing I can start doing to help me achieve my goal? 

This question prompts action. It encourages you to identify new habits, skills, or activities that propel you forward. It’s about adding something to your daily routine that aligns directly with your desired results.

2. What is one simple thing I can I stop doing to help me reach my goal? 

Equally important, this question is about elimination. It’s recognizing the obstacles or time-wasters in your life that hinder progress. Many think goals are about doing more but doing less of the time-wasters that hinder progress might be even more important.

By focusing on these two questions, you streamline the result-creation process. You make goal setting a simple and responsive experience, adjusting as you learn what works best for you.

This approach is adaptable to any personal, professional goal, or something in between. So, as you ponder your 2024 goals, keep these questions in mind and enjoy reaching your goals more simply!

Here’s to setting goals that inspire and motivate, not overwhelm.

First Half

Disclaimer: Even if you’re not a runner or have zero interest in running EVER, this email is still very much for you!

This week, I was working with a client who was hesitant about her goal, her first 5K.

I could tell she had “expectations” for how her experience “should” look.

Did she think…

  • training had to look a certain way, or it wasn’t “good enough?”
  • she had to get a specific time for her first race, or it wasn’t worth telling anyone about?
  • that by signing up, it meant she had to RUN the entire thing?
Completing my first half marathon weighing over 220 pounds, I had a lot to share with her, and it might be helpful for you too! 

As you read, consider your next goal, business project/idea, or motherhood challenge you want to go after. 

Do you have it in mind? If not, think about it! 

Do you think it has to look a certain way to “count?”

When I went to pick up my race packet and received my 

t-shirt, I was made aware that I was the only size XL shirt on the roster, and that was for both the men’s and women’s races. I certainly didn’t look (or weigh) the way most 1/2 marathon runners look, but does that negate my success?

Do you think, if it’s not done by a specific time it’s any less of an accomplishment?

I had one main goal for my first race.

Finish the Race

When we think a goal, project, or challenge has to be completed/solved/obtained by a particular time, that “made-up time frame” often stops us from even starting. 

Ditch the time frame and dedicate yourself to moving forward a little bit more each day. 

Do you think you have to have it all figured out or have the best idea, perfect certification, a big network, or fancy equipment to be successful? 

I didn’t look like your typical 1/2 marathon runner, but I also didn’t have a water supply around my waist, no fancy fuel packs, no watch to time my pace, I ran alone, and I wore hand-me-down running shoes. 

All those “strikes” against me, and I still 

completed the goal.

Remember that goal, business idea, or motherhood challenge that you thought of at the beginning of this email? 

What if you dropped the expectations of what it is supposed to look like and just started?  

Drop the excuses keeping you from going after your next big thing!  

It didn’t matter what I weighed or didn’t have because I was running my OWN race, I set my expectations, and my timeline, and I reached my goals by taking baby steps MY WAY!!  

Those principles are exactly how I grew my six-figure business in less than 18 months while teaching full-time school and parenting my three daughters!
Run your own dang race in life, business, and motherhood!

Run it on your terms, with your OWN goals, fostering your strengths, without excuses, and in a way that makes you proud. 

If you reach your goals, and you’re not proud of how you got there, did you really reach it?   

Treadmill

Do you ever feel like you’re on a treadmill set just a little too fast?

Do you feel like your days are spoken for by endless tasks, roles in family and work, too many expectations, and the pressure to “keep up” in a society that never seems to slow down?

If so, you’re not alone. It’s a daunting situation we all face.

If only there were an emergency shut-off button in life, like on treadmills.

I have something even better than the emergency shut-off button to share with you. I have the solution to keep you from feeling like you need to reach for that button in the first place.

Working with hundreds of women over the years, I’ve noticed they think they don’t have “enough time,” but usually, they are trying to plan too much in their time that’s impossible to complete in the hours they have!

They are trying to stuff a size ten “schedule” into a size two space.

To help you fit everything in with the time you have, you MUST KNOW THE DIFFERENCE between your S.O.F.T and T.R.U.E priorities.

When you make something a priority for S.O.F.T. reasons, you are stuffing the “wrong things” into the limited time you have.

S.O.F.T. priorities are based from

  • SHOULDS – thinking you should do certain things because that is what “good” women, mothers, and entrepreneurs “should” do)
  • OTHER’S PERCEPTIONS – you do things you don’t want to do because you want to control how others think about you). You say yes so they WILL think “really amazing things” about you. Or, you don’t want them to believe you are incapable so you say yes… stuffing extra things into your already full schedule.
  • FEARS – adding things to your schedule because you’re afraid of what could happen in the future if you don’t do something. If you don’t work out you’ll get a terrible disease. If you say no, people won’t invite you again. Fear that if you slow down or don’t work 24/7, things will fall apart.
  • THEY OR THEM – doing things so you don’t let “them” down or because “they” will be upset if you say no.
If you’re adding tasks to your to-do list for S.O.F.T reasons, you will ALWAYS be over scheduled and trying to stuff too much into a tiny window.

If You Feel Stuck, Ask Yourself This Question

What do you do when you feel stuck or confused?

I know what I do, and it’s often nothing!
  • I stop
  • give up
  • worry
  • doubt
  • eat, watch TV, scroll

all things that lead to zero movement AND STILL BEING STUCK!

Here’s what helps me feel less stuck!

The next time you feel stuck, not sure what to do, ask yourself this one question instead of trying to figure out the big picture to get unstuck.

⁠“What is one thing I can do today that will keep me moving in A direction?”⁠

Answer the question and commit to doing that one thing!

Our direction might need to change from time to time, but if we aren’t taking action, if we aren’t moving, we can’t be guided in our next step.

It’s hard to move a docked shipped!

Just keep moving for more guidance!

This one simple thing will help you stop feeling aimless and confused!

These feelings can arise from external circumstances, but they hit harder when we let those external circumstances make us feel directionless in our current life, daily actions, decisions, and business.

I see you, and I totally understand! Even straightforward, simple daily tasks and decisions can seem like monumental challenges when we feel this way.

I’ve worked myself and my clients through this doubt, uncertainty, and confusion by doing this one simple thing.

SET A GOAL!

– Stick with me! –

Big or small, just knowing a goal is there provides clarity, hope, and direction…

and you want to know why?

Every time we take action, even a tiny one, toward our goal, our brain rewards us by releasing dopamine – nature’s way of saying, “Well done! You did it! Keep going!”

When our brain releases that dopamine, it’s hard to feel confused, aimless, and full of doubt.

DOPAMINE IS SERIOUSLY SO COOL!

It’s our very own motivational speaker cheering us on and offering a feel-good boost every time we progress. It’s the reason why every check on a checklist feels so satisfying and why reaching milestones, no matter how small, makes our hearts swell with pride.

As you think about setting just one goal to support you in finding your aim, consider taking these simple steps.

  • Reflect: What is one thing you could do that will help set you up in the right direction? You might not know what that direction is fully (’tis life), but there’s always something you can do to take action towards finding out.

    For example: Wanting a new job/passion/hobby, but wondering what in? Consider setting a goal to apply for x amount of jobs weekly or try X new hobbies/crafts, and as you take that action, you will understand what options are out there that you DON’T want and what’s out there that you might enjoy.
  • Write down your goal and place it somewhere you can easily access it. Sticky note, reminders app, lock screen, or set an alarm on your phone. It doesn’t matter how, but find a simple way to remind yourself of the goals you’re going after.
  • Decide what actions you will do daily/weekly to make progress toward your dopamine-producing goal, and then set a time (commit) to take those actions daily. If you can’t say at 8 am every day I will then say before I go to bed, I will have… or before the children come home from school I will…. or after I brush my teeth I will X (state the action).

Celebrate the little achievements along the way. Check off the boxes, tell a friend (tell me I want to know), text your kids, give yourself a wink in the mirror, whatever it is, when you complete the step, even a simple one, mentally check it off and ENJOY WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO INCREASE THAT DOPAMINE!

Purrspective For You

I’ve recently discovered a new and prestigious role in life as a grandCAT babysitter.

It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it!
⁠⁠
My daughter and her husband have been out of town for the past five nights, and it’s been entertaining watching my adorable grandcat Mo…
I call him Moses or Mo bro for short! lol

This cat has been enjoying experiences that my own cat and even my own children didn’t experience, like daily treats, head rubs, and sleeping in my bedroom at night.

This experience has got me looking forward to grandparenting!

But then I thought,

“why is it that we look forward to grandparenting and (sometimes) don’t look forward to parenting with that same kind of hope, excitement, and joy?”
I think my brain found the solution!

As a grandparent, we think we’ll be able to let the “little things go” and focus on the “most important things!”

What if we can let the “little things go” and focus on the “most important things RIGHT NOW?”

We can, and here’s how!

By knowing THE ACTION STEPS of your priorities!

It’s easy to spout off priorities such as:

  • My kids, parenting
  • Business/work
  • Spirituality
  • Health
  • Relationships

BUT… that means very little if you don’t know THE WHY you’re making that thing a priority and the ACTION STEPS you will take each day to support that priority.

  • If you want to make it a priority to be an available parent, you must DEFINE the ACTIONS of an available parent.
  • If you want to make it a priority to be a parent who connects with her children, you must DEFINE YOUR ACTIONS of what it means to be an available parent (for you).
  • If you want to be a successful business owner in X amount of hours a week, you must DEFINE the ACTIONS FOR YOU of what you will do daily to become that successful business owner.

Does this make sense? If so, keep tracking!

The next step is to SCHEDULE THE ACTIONS STEPS in your day that support those priorities.

When you DEFINE THE ACTIONS, you discover

  • What to schedule
  • What to say yes to
  • What to say no to
  • Motivation and insight into precisely what you’re going to do
  • That there is no “so small stuff.”
It’s either a YES, it supports my priority (which is big) or it’s a NO, it doesn’t support a priority (and that NO is HUGE too)!

The next time you notice yourself looking forward to a future event like grandparenting, “more” time, or “more” business success, follow these steps to begin enjoying life right now!

Ready to start enjoying life RIGHT NOW?

Let’s define your priorities together!