I’m guilty too of living in โฃโ
โฃโ
“๐ ๐ธ๐ช๐ด๐ฉ ๐ช๐ต ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ….” โฃโ
โฃโ
Unfortunately, regret doesn’t change the past. In fact, it might even make it worse with the things you’re thinking about it. โฃโ
โฃโ
If something in your life, motherhood, or business didn’t go as planned, ๐๐ฏ๐๐ฅ๐ฎ๐๐ญ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง instead of wishing it went differently! โฃโ
โฃโ
We have so much to learn from the past if we are willing to accept that we can’t change it, but we ๐๐๐ง ๐๐ก๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ ๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ฐ ๐ข๐ญ. โฃโ
โฃโ
And we can change what we learn from it. โฃโ
โฃโ
Think about that thing you wish had gone differently. โฃโ
โฃโ
Learn from it by asking yourself questions such as โฃโ
โฃโ
๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ญ๐บ? โฃโ
โฃโ
๐๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ถ๐ณ๐ช๐ฐ๐ด๐ช๐ต๐บ/๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด/๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ? โฃโ
โฃโ
๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ? โฃโ
โฃโ
๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฑ๐ข๐ณ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ง? โฃโ
โฃโ
๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฑ๐ข๐ณ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ข๐จ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ. โฃโ
โฃโ
Instead of wishing it were different, ๐ฅ๐๐๐ซ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฉ๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ก๐๐ฅ๐ฉ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ข๐ซ๐. โฃโ
โฃโ
5 Ways to Listen and Respond for Deeper Connection
Desire deeper connections? Check out this list of 5 ways you can increase your listening to foster deeper connections. โ โ
1. Repeat their words back
Child: Mom, I am so sad, something bad happened today.
Mom: You’re sad because something bad happened today. Do you want to talk about it?ย
2. Paraphrase what you heard
Paraphrase with feeling wordsย
Even if you say a feeling word they may not identify with, they can correct you. Saying what you “think” they feel and them correcting you, helps them know/identify what they are actually feeling.
This builds connection.
3. Reflect what you heardโinflate the feelings words
The more feelings you add to the narrative you reflect back, the more they feel heard, validated, and understood. It produces an understanding that builds safety into the conversation.ย
Actual script from my conversation with my daughter
“It sounds like you enjoyed your time at tennis and that you felt proud of your serve and confident playing with the older girls.”
4. Understand and Leadย
Help them come up with their own solution through open-ended questions (not telling them what to do)
Sounds like you are (feeling word) because (point out the problem, what they are unable to do, want to have done differently, etc), and if feels _____ because (point out the obstacle they mentioned).ย
Ask leading open-ended questions such asโฆ
If you had more time, what would you consider doing?
If you were able to talk to your teacher, what would you say?
If you could change this situation, what would you feel comfortable doing?
If you knew you would get solved eventually, what do you think you could do/try?
5. Ask permission
Understand the role they want you to fill
Ask if they want your:
โข help
โข advice
โข or if they just want you to listen.
Before giving any advice, ask if they would be open to a solution or if they want to hear what you think might help.
The beauty, this isn’t just for your business or motherhoodโit works in all areas of your life. โ โ
Let’s Discover the joys and blessings life has to offer
She told me, โ โ
โ โ
“I wouldn’t say that out loud” โ โ
โ โ
when I declared, โ โ
โ โ
“I have a good life!” โ โ
โ โ
I used to be scared to admit that I loved my life, for fear something terrible would happen if I KNEW how blessed I was.โ โ
โ โ
Based on my friend’s reaction, I guess I’m not the only one!? โ โ
โ โ
Not fully living the great life I had because I was waiting fearfully for something to ruin the good parts was the “bad” thing. โ โ
โ โ
Over the last few years, I have discovered a few incredible insights. โ โ
โ โ โ โ
A full heart makes room for more growth and opportunity.โ โ
โ โ
A grateful heart opens doors, it doesn’t make the good parts turn bad. โ โ
โ โ
There’s nothing wrong with loving your life a still desire more.โ โ
โ โ
It doesn’t make you “bad” or ungrateful to want more, even when you love what you already have. โ โ
โ โ
If you’re afraid to count your blessings out loud and genuinely appreciate your life, the worst thing to happen is already happening!โ โ
โ โ
You’re robbing yourself of the joy you could be having in each moment!
โ
Define Your Role
Meet our aunt Jeanne. โ โฃโ
โ โฃโ
When the girls were younger, she would watch my children when my husband and I went on overnight trips.โ โฃโ
โ โฃโ
When I was working as a teacher, she would pick up my sick children from school, check on them during the day and bring them soup. โ โฃโ
โ โฃโ
She planned the most incredible bridal shower and attended Camryn’s small wedding ceremony. โ โฃโ
โ โฃโ
She watches our cat and my daughter’s guinea pig when we go on vacation.โ โฃโ
โ โฃโ
She cuts down our overgrown bushes and takes me for soda and pedicures. โ โฃโ
โ โฃโ
She brings us back souvenirs from her world travels. โ โฃโ
โ โฃโ
She invites us over for dinner, delivers presents during the holidays, and even tells the girls to behave and use their manners. โ โฃโ
โ โฃโ
Typical, right? That’s just what aunts do! โ โฃโ
โ โฃโ
The thing is, ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ’๐ด ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต “๐ต๐ฆ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฏ๐ช๐ค๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ” ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ข๐ถ๐ฏ๐ต. โ โฃโ
โ โฃโ
We met her about 7 years ago and ๐ฌ๐ก๐ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐๐๐ข๐๐๐ she was going to be the girl’s aunt. โ โฃโ
โ โฃโ
She tells everyone she’s their aunt and we of course do the same, ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ก๐จ๐ง๐จ๐ซ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ญ๐๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ฌ. โ โฃโ
โ โฃโ
At this point, it’s 100% the truth! โ โฃโ
โ โฃโ
If there’s something you want to be, ๐๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ๐, ๐๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ง ๐ญ๐๐ค๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐๐ค๐ ๐ข๐ญ so! โ โฃโ
โ โฃโ
The good, joy, and love it will bring to you and others you impact in your role can’t be measured! โ โฃโ